Hi Everyone! On this last day of February I wanted to give an introduction to Single Parent Company. And I want to brief you on the weekly structure of these daily essay offerings.
The bottom line is that I want to offer you all company. I think about you all (we all) constantly. I know everyone is working hard, asking questions, cleaning up messes, watching children play and grow and-of course- meltdown. And sometimes we are laughing. Sometimes not.
It is lonely being a parent. Lonely and rewarding. Sometimes, I feel like we are all in our own isolation booths, knocking frantically on the glass, asking a very important question, like: where did I put the thermometer? But no one can hear you through the glass. And if someone happens to glance over, they are also too tired to figure out what you are talking about.
There is also plenty of juicy payback. For instance, when I see my toddler offer another child a toy they really like WITHOUT a lecture from me or a cattle prod, I definitely feel a bit taller and forget that I am still wearing maternity clothes. Another example: when I watch my child jump in the pool face first and swim six feet by himself, I am hard pressed not to do a brash end-zone dance. Because I will never forgot when I see him doing a full on belly roll on the bars in the gym, or counting flowers in the sun, that he started as few cells inside me. And now look. Look! He is a genius; Starting so unobtrusively and microscopically and then suddenly shaking hands and making eye contact as though it were nothing.
But I digress. This show is not called "my son is a genius." (I would get no hits; even though it's true.) These essays are for you. I got the idea for this group while reading the pregnancy and parenting books when I was pregnant and alone. I started to notice a pattern. I would be reading along, minding my own business, trying to learn about ways to combat edema in your joints and then BAM, the tell-tale shut out phrase:
”This is a good time to enlist the help of your partner. Ask them for a little foot massage and all your troubles---”
THANKS. That's so super helpful. Because I hadn't thought about a foot massage but now I can't get the image out of my head. I found book after book that reminded me that I was not a member of full parenting set. I was not complete.
So I write and offer all of you company to even the score.
I devised some tricks to thumb my nose at the silly books, or silly populations who raise their eyebrows at single( or nearly single) parents. I also have some ever so short writing exercises to yank yourself out of the the lonely parent vortex.
Each week, I want to tackle a certain topic. For some topics like sleep and self-deprecation, we will have revisit repeatedly. Each week I want to offer some tips, a writing exercise, stories from the trenches both highs and lows, stories from friends, and end the week with questions, quotes, supportive songs.
OK.“Supportive songs” sounds scary. What I mean is songs that will help you get through a tough day. Sometimes I would listen to Eric Bibb’s “Just Keep Goin’ On,” five times in a row when I was so tired I would cry when I saw the vacuum cleaner. It made me cry because I couldn't use it because I couldn't find the new vacuum cleaner bags. Has this. or some version of this, happened to you.
If not,clarification to follow.
Cheers and sleep well everyone,
DRG
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