Here I am in a pink bathing suit.
And sure enough, while wearing this suit an 8 year old boy, whom K and I were traveling with, said(with no hint of malice or agenda): "Can I ask you a question? Are you pregnant?"
Yeah. Demoralizing to say the least. It's been a while since I've been asked that. But like chemotherapy, it feels more awful every time.
That said, I was not going to let my flops and drops/ jiggles and wiggles ruin my time in Paradise. ( It WAS paradise. Plus, K had a friend to play with and I had two other adults/friends to work with. I was thrilled and not a little grumpy to have to leave the velvet air, lapis ocean, sea turtles, whales and spinner dolphins...but I digress..) So I pulled out one of my tried and true tricks that I discovered when I was pregnant.
The Mirror Trick:
Back when I was pregnant and getting huge( K weighed 9.9 at birth so at 6 months I looked like I was going to deliver any minute. I got a lot of "you sure there's only one in there?" Why do people say that? Is it that they just can't find the self-edit button? Do they think ANYone will think that is funny?") I found that there was no one around to cheer me up when I wasn't feeling so pretty and channeling the Goddess. There was no fabulous partner who found pregnant women sexy and powerful and who would say just that. And go on to say how beautiful I was with specifics and conviction. No, that fabulous partner was/is still in the ether.I lived alone and I felt big and blotchy. But I refused to leave the house feeling pouty. Because in general it was a miracle I was going to get to have a baby.
So, when I was feeling blue and ugly, I would stand in front of the mirror and look and look and stand and stand until the only thing I saw was a beautiful, radiant mother to be. Invariably, after doing that I would get a compliment about how I looked.
Sometimes it takes a while. So, be patient. And I have found that it's more difficult when you are not pregnant. Maybe more noise and action with the kid running around. It is, however, worth it.
And sometimes it's simply an uphill battle(check out my other bathing suit). There are parts of my body that are sacred but unattractive. I refuse to circle the drain about being not magazine gorgeous.
Let's concentrate on the timeless beauty of our kids, the landscape, our health, our ideas, each other.
And when you look at all those people in their perfect suits, and their tri-athlete hard bodies... well, I don't know what to tell you about that. Maybe try not to be mad at them and realize they don't konw the mirror trick.
