Greetings from the land of the very, very tired.

So, I don't know if it was a self-fulfilled prophesy, but since I have started to tackle the topic of sleep deprivation, K, my son got strep throat and I got a sinus infection and I haven't slept through the night all week.

So, this is me trying to keep it together at the grocery store.

( I think I stood in front of the waffles for five minutes looking for apples)

Not surprisingly, like the grocery store I have been staring at the screen for 45 minutes and have several deep thoughts about(1) the relationship between anger and exhaustion, (2) how when you are really tired, time slows down and makes you dizzy like the wake up scene in "The Hangover," (3) while it's hard to be super productive while extremely tired some of the idle and inane chatter in your head must leave your head, and (4) in some ways over-tiredness forces you into the simple moment; you can't quite think any farther than 'right now'. And most of the time, you child is staring at you when get stuck in the present. So it's a good time to sit down and read or tell a story with them or make a block tower together and then play fire fighters and knock it down. And I would really like to say more so I can sound witty and erudite.

But.

I do not have the bandwidth.

Wish me luck getting a sustained 6 to 7 hours of sleep. The good news is K is no longer crying when he swallows and I dearly hope there are not the nightmares we dealt with last night.

Sleep well all! and keep up the good work.

yours,

Darcy

Sleep Deprivation Part I: Just how tired am I?

This is me after three nights of four wake ups in the middle of the night.

(As you can see, I am still OK, to say, drive a car. ish. But very, very fragile)

Today, I offer an exercise

Locate and list the warning signs of over-exhaustion.

The tricky think about being very very very tired is that it's a bit like hypothermia, you don't necessarily feel tired. But once you figure out the signals, then you get a free pass to, say, avoid harsh judgement about, just for instance, the organizing systems of your desk and closets, or, the amount of rotting food/leftover-and-overs in your frig, or even, the number of unanswered emails in your inbox.

I have been tired for long enough that my over-tired warning list is in very good order. I know that if the sight of one of my stuffed to the gills closet brings tears to my eyes, I realize I'm exhausted and I need to shut the door immediately and do something that does not involve organizing of any kind.

Or, another alarm bell: if while listening to the Sound of Music soundtrack yet again( that I actually don't mind) but then, when I hear the beginning of "Climb Every Mountain," I feel like I could scratch my cheeks until they bleed because I hate the song so much, I know I'm way too tired to take on any kind of complex conversation about my direction in life.

Oh, and here is one that I sometimes use as a litmus test: When I am beyond exhausted, I can't read a full paragraph; I'm not able to concentrate enough to glean meaning from the group of sentences. So, if I'm not quite sure how far gone I am, I'll pick up a book or a magazine and check.

Here is your assignment for the week: have a piece of paper and a pad handy.

Wait, I need to stop: I realize this might be the most challenging part of the assignment. If this is proving overwhelming, set out art materials and supplies "for your child". So under the guise of supporting your kid's creative expression, you will also have a writing utensil at the ready.

Now, step two: just jot down things that drive you insane and make you feel overwhelmed that normally do not phase you. We will talk about the many ways this list can serve us tomorrow.

Needless to say, sleep deprivation is a rich and abundant font from which we as single parents will draw inspiration and clarity often. Good luck with your lists!

Sleep well all,

Darcy