SMV #5 Art that makes you swoon.

Single-Minded Valentine #5: Inspiration again

Michael Cunningham and Robbinschilds

“Peter, however, has other feelings. He believes that a real work of art can be owned but should not be subject to capture; that it should radiate such authority, such bizarre but confident beauty (or unbeauty) that it can’t be undone by even the most ludicrous sofa or side tables. A real work of art should rule the room…”

   Michael Cunningham, By Nightfall p.153

This morning while ardently shaking the book, By Nightfall, I said: “You are a genius. You are a very good writer! Thank you so much!” and I kissed the book. I basically kissed Michael Cunningham out of gratitude for providing such a lovely story in such a gorgeous bouquet of words.

Goodness me! I feel lucky. Lucky to get to have not one but two inspirational and revivifying encounters with true art this week.

(It does helps that I have had two days to sleep in and went for a run/walk on the beach. I cannot tell a lie. The art is more beautiful when I am rested.)

I’m still swooning over that MoMA performance by Robbinschilds and Kinsky on Thursday.  I want to tell you about all my favorite parts( wrestling in the galleries with a rainbow fabric monster over their heads; moving in red through the cavernous atrium while in huge projections on the walls, they are moving through a dessert landscape wearing red; a classical dance duet in front of projections of smashed cars while the bass player pulls a violin bow across her guitar strings…and much more)

But I’m teaching an extended class in my (very messy) house in less than two hours. I’m still in my PJs. So, unfortunately, I can’t sit on my sun-drenched, quiet, blue couch and moon over glorious, well-crafted art and writing.

Today in class I need to help my three middle school girls create characters that will eventually be in an original play. I think it will be distracting if K’s star wars drawings and dirty laundry are sprawled all over the living room floor. I did have the most earnest intentions to install the new printer and clean the crazy corner, instead of just hiding the crazy corner piles. So don’t tell.

And, OK, you don’t have to SAY it! I KNOW that strong artists like Michael Cunningham and Robbinschilds, do not take as long to clean their crazy corners.

Because not cleaning the crazy corners in your house will hold you back as an artist.

I know that.

Yes, I DO want to make sparkling art like them.

I will clean that crazy corner of mine. Really clean it.

Thank you, dear Sonya, Layla and Michael for giving me the strength and the drive to clean my closets(they are super crazy) and the crazy corner near my bed and get off the proverbial couch and make/write something engaging and surprising.

All my love,

Darcy

#4 Sweet Single Minded Valentine

(Retro Note: K is now nearly 5. I started this this ‘sweet’ valentine four years ago. Still very valid.)

Dating as a single mom.

Hmm.

It’s actually a ridiculous idea. 

I’m bemused by the people who insist that single parents should date.  My son is 11 months old and not a fabulous sleeper.

So. When I have a babysitter and manage to take a shower and am rested enough to spend time away from home. I do NOT want to talk to a STRANGER and field questions about the nature of my relationship with the child's father. Yuck, yuck, yickety, yuck!  I’ve been out on one date and the guy lost me with the question: So what’s the story with the father?

Answer: Well, the story is extensive and at this point I don’t really want to go into it.

Then, his mistake: “Well, anything could happen…I mean you could fall back in love with him.”

And…scene. We’re done.

Because, No. No. A million times no. And the long and involved explanation as to why that will never happen is not something I want to elucidate on my time off. It is the least fun, the least interesting and the least inspiring part of my life.

It’s about as riveting as talking about how you do sit-ups.

At that point my Strawberry French toast became the focus of my outing. It was divine

the French toast.

The blind date? Over-rated.

Besides, I don’t need to date.

I have started a relationship with three old friends:

Butter and Sugar and chocolate.

Valentine #3: to Inspirational people and events...

I went to an amazing performance tonight at the SF MoMA. Even better it was my friend performing!

They are RobbinsChilde. They performed with a band called Kinsky.

Look at these brilliant people:
http://www.robbinschilds.com/welcome.php

They are what should be happening in contemporary art!


They will help me get off the proverbial coach and get to work.

They get my third Valentine. They are my heros.

More later; must sleep now and dream beautiful dreams supplied by the images, moves and music from tonight.

My Sleepy Valentines: Love to my sleep deprived peeps(#2)

Valentine #2: Love and Rest for the sleep deprived all over the world.

No one tells you, do they? No one tells you how strange and difficult it is to be sleep deprived for very long periods of time.

I know, for instance, you, dear ones, who are beyond extreme fagitue—or fatigue for the rested- that you will not be able to read or take in much more than a few sentences.

So I send you lvoe. I will ty and expatriate wat to doo when you can’t remember why…you were online/readig this or still awak.

When you are so exhausted that you:

a) crack an egg on a cutting board instead of into a frying pan;

b) run out of gas on a very long bridge with no breakdown lane. IN A PRIUS…

c) Dial a number and forget who and why you are calling and have to make idle banter to buy time and solve the mystery;

D) Wake up and realize you are in your closet, rummaging around in your socks. In the dark.

  

The biggest gift I can gift you now is this:

(Step 1) IGNORE the horrid, mean voices that come into your head that say you are lame, lazy, a slob, a bad mother/father, a crappy artist/writer/cook/driver, that you deserve all the craziness, that you will fail and everyone will roll their eyes and say they told you.

IGNORE THESE VOICES. IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE!

These sleepless demons are not real and they are not your voice but some other jealous, toxic voices that gathered stream while you were not able to get the REM sleep.

Then, (Step 2) BE KIND TO YOURSELF. You can have a conversation with yourself about writing, cooking, driving, organizing when you have 10 hours of consecutive sleep under your belt. But right now, do whatever you need to do: cancel dates, make a date, order in, eat whatever is there, call for help, take a nap with your child(even if it’s not there naptime).

Repeat steps 1 and 2, as needed.

When you have had a nap, make a list of what you have done when you are EE(extremely Exhausted). Please share if you so desire.

And know that The Single Parent Company is with you 100%.

Valentine # 1 to The Symphony, John Williams and George Lucas and to K.

2/22/11

Valentine # 1: To the Symphony, John Williams and George Lucas.

     If you had told me ten years ago, twenty years ago, even thirty years ago, that one of the best, most moving valentines was going to be listening to the Star Wars theme song played live, I would have thought you were high.

     But, here’s what happened( try to suspend judgment):this time last year K was bitten by the Star Wars bug. Then it was as if he had never known or cared for anything else; his numerous firetrucks, no interest. His fire-fighting turnout gear that he wore to everything, including his pirate-themed birthday party, was gathering dust in a corner. All the construction trucks, shovels, and piles of rocks were untouched and forgotten. He only had eyes for Star Wars.  The head of his school said it is social currency, which helped me understand.

   So for a year we have lived, breathed, ate and talked Star Wars. When the questions got too rarefied( “Who is Yoda’s mother?” “What happened when a light saber breaks?”), I have to text my brother on the other side of the country for answers. And, I must say, I have learned a great deal. As has K! Truth to tell, I truly enjoy our light saber duels as the sun sets and our blades glow in the dark and the discussions about good and evil. K’s favorite thing is for us to basically do puppet shows of the Star Wars/Clone Wars narratives that are on his mind: the Rotta kidnapping, ( my addition) his mother coming to bring him home;Ahsoka’s reaction when she finds out Anakin  has gone to the dark side; Ewok battle; Endor speeder chase; anything with AT- ATs. To my joy and surprise,  Star Wars has motivated K to draw! He draws battles and all the characters. He just this evening draw a kick ass Millennium Falcon!

     Cut to a month ago when there was a sale at the symphony for the family program and the finale piece was, you guessed it, “Star Wars”. The symphony education department sent us a CD of the musical program along with workbooks about the symphony instruments and biographies of the composers. Thanks to this gift, K fell in love with “Night on Bald Mountain” by Mussorgsky.  

      Then on February 12^th we are at the symphony, both in our party clothes and very excited! As we are going up the stairs in the symphony hall, I find I have a huge lump in my throat. A joyful lump: I am going to the symphony. I’m walking up the stairs, hand in hand with my son. I have a son! Here he is excited to be going with me to a performance. And, for me—the good story whore that I am-going to a good performance is modern-day, real magic. So taking him to his first symphony performance it is a milestone and heaven. I pull it together because even though he is four, I know he is old enough to be mortified by me crying in public.

We find our seats and look down at all the instruments and the music starts! We are both mesmerized! When they play “Night on Bald Mountain” everything fades away( even the 18 month old whining and wandering in front of us,)  and K and I are both swaying and conducting to the music. He is sitting on my lap and I give him a kiss and tell him I love him. He reciprocates and presses his cheek against mine.  

That’s when the Star Wars music starts up. Hearing the music, there is a montage in my head and heart of K and me and Star Wars: We are discussing Luke and Darth Vader and why he goes over to the dark side; we are reading about the different droids; we are dueling with light-sabers with the soundtrack playing; K is telling me about the Squeak, the Jedi mouse; we are playing Star Wars stories with Rotta, Leia, Ahsoka, Lt D-2, C-3PO, Obi Wan, Mace Windu and Luke; we are building Rebel bases, we are spending days building a lego droid armored assault tank. We are doing all this together. And with this swelling, positive, empowering, John Williams music playing live in front of us, I can’t stop crying. My life is perfect. There is no way possible I could be more happy than this moment. 

Thank you, George Lucas. Thank you, John Williams. Thank you San Francisco Symphony and the Education department.

And thank you, dearest lovebug, K, for the best Valentine’s Day of my life.

A year of Single Minded Valentines!

Single-minded love for a year.

I love Valentines Day. And who deserves well-crafted, witty, love tokens more than single parents?

Plus, when I make valentines, and think about who I love, and why I adore  them, and what they have endured or invented or written, I feel better.  I feel proud and excited that we are in the same world. And, in some strange way, I feel more loved, more celebrated.

Boomerang goodwill.

OK. Forgive me. We are wading in a swampy schlock fest. 

Sometimes, joy is so utterly dull. 

And that's not why I am doing this. 

I am sending out these valentines because it is a survival technique.  Did you hear me?

These valentines, yours and mine, will help you stay alive and stay sane.

It's a way to feed yourself when there is nothing left in your spiritual and mental frig.

Making valentines is like eating all local produce and grass-fed beef cooked by Thomas Keller. (He’s on my valentine list) .

So. Here’s the plan:

I am going to commit to a year of Valentines.

Hopefully this will prompt you to think about your valentines

And, yes, it is seven days beyond February 14. I am starting today. I am a tad late.

Because, listen:

When you work at the Single Parent Company, you don’t give up. You do not beat yourself senseless when you can’t quite pull your act together for the EXACT start day that you had planned.( Case in point, 2/14/11)

At SPC surprising things come up that must be dealt with. We are short-staffed.  Surprise! Our lovely little cherubs are up at 4:45am because 

(a) they are just too excited about the lego X-wing that they built the night before; 

(b) they are learning to walk/talk/climb/swim/read and/or they need to know what 40 and 11 make; 

(c) they are nervous about the sleepover at the other parent’s this weekend where the much older neighbor has been teasing them;

(d)they have to know if male and female humpback whales sing the same songs; 

(e) they are coughing like a barking seal, with fever and runny green-snot nose; 

(f) they had a nightmare that Darth Vador is coming through their mattress and even when you get them laughing by picturing Darth Vador doing the dishes, they will not go back to sleep. And, of course, neither will you. That means the rest of the day will feel like you are underwater. Or in the first scene of “The Hangover” and the only way to find your keys is to pray, sing an Eric Bibb song quietly to yourself, and try not to cry.

Thus, we start our year of Single-minded Valentines today! 2/20/11. Actually, the numbers “2/20/11” have a lucky ring to them, don't they?

 I declare February 20^th Single Valentines Day!

Here is my (part of) my list of people/places/ideas I will send a valentine to:

-The San Francisco Symphony and their family program; John Williams and George Lucas and my dearest boy, K.

-To all of the hard working(and sleep-deprived) parents and to their kids.

-My son, K(he will probably get more than one)

-Julia Child

-Alex Prud’homme

-Eric Bibb

-The film-makers of “The Fighter” and “The King’s Speech”

-Dan Savage and the "It Gets Better Project"

-Point Reyes

-Earnest Shackleton

-Preschool Teachers and specifically, K’s teachers at school

-Wild Salmon both those that make it home to spawn and those that die trying.

-The cast and crew of Friday Night Lights

-Michael Cunningham( author of “By Nightfall” and “the Hours”)

-President Obama

-Charming Girl and her coterie

-Thomas Keller

-Giotto

-Grumpy pirates, real and imagined

-Tina Fey

-Martin Luther King Jr

-Emma Thompson

-Jane Austen…of course.

Stay tuned.   Tomorrow in Single Minded Valentine #1 we elucidate why the Star Wars music made me sob with joy.

Now it's your turn: Who is on your Valentine List?

À Demain et à vos amours!