Out and About ValentineMay 29,2011
SPC Advisory: This is a Free Advise Posting.
(pictured here: a lemon alone.)
It never ceases to amazing and surprise me, how uplifting it can be to just simply walk of the house and do a simple errand.
I read recently that in a new study they found that the incidence of Alzheimer’s disease and/or dementia plummeted when the subject got out and about everyday.
This makes so much sense to me.(And, thus, I make a note to self. Because after doing this single parent dance and now finally having –some- of my wits about me so that I can write a handful of cogent sentences once or twice a week, I will do whatever it takes to avoid dementia when I am older and, finally, legitimately rested.)
Witness the last two weeks: I have been feeling low, low, pit-in-my-stomach, almost-crying-all-the-time low because, 1. K is going to Kindergarten. a new school, a new parent and kid community. No one is responding to my invitations to have a play date. Both of us are nervous but trying to be brave for each other. We have to leave our amazing preschool where we have both flourished, found friends and a support network very much a kin to family.
2. There have been two super cool teaching jobs that were advertised as though I was the perfect person for them, and then, I choked on the phone interview for one (It was in French and unscheduled but still, it was the worse French I have spoken in years. That’s another long, sad story.)And for the other one, while the division head is a fan of mine, the other French teachers “found mistakes” on the board when I subbed for French. What can I say? I’m a dyslexic Francophile. I think I make a great role model for kids in a language classroom. But, hey, I’m not the one hiring.
3.Even though-big picture- there is probably a job out there that’s a better fit for me. Right now, my ego has been kicked in the teeth and cracked a few ribs. So it’s hard to breathe and I don’t look(or feel) pretty.
4. K, my usually charming child has downloaded the Five-Year-old handbook on How to REALLY Push Your Mother’s Buttons(the 5 year handbook is much more advanced than 4 yr old.) and decides to manifest his anxiety and anger about leaving his school by sneaking a bowl of cold soup into my closet and dumping said cold watercress soup into and around a bag full of my clothes. And then, he didn’t tell me about it. I discovered this darkside expression of anger when I was trying to be brave and clean out my crazy(one of many) closets. At that point, I did a cursory soup cleaning while crying.
Thus, we find ourselves at the entrance to…
The Vortex.(cue scary, ominous music)
You know the vortex. It is a sad, messy place where dishes are never clean, laundry is never folded and/or put away. What’s the point? There are so many piles of mail all over the house there is no where to sit. You have no job, no propects, your novel is still not close to finished, your best friend hasn’t checked in in over a month. And your favorite dark-blue sweater is soaked in soup. (Could K and/ or the Universe be trying to tell me to stop stewing in my own juice?)
I think JK Rowling produced the best embodiment of the Vortex in the form of the Dementors. You start to lose the will face the day, much less clean. The pull to the coach and popcorn becomes very strong but you must resist.
You must put on your coat and shoes. Or get dressed. Bundle up the child/children and you must just walk outside. (Oh, bring your wallet or some cash) Step one is simply getting outside. Don't worry about where you are going just get outside. Step two is picking an errand or a friend to visit, it’s really good if you can walk to do the errand but get in the car that the only option. On your errand, you will see other people walking down the street and your child will hold your hand, maybe someone will smile at you, you might run into a friend, maybe you will witness another child having a meltdown. You will have an incidental, but friendly conversation with the check out person.
So, the other day when I was staring down the Vortex, I decided to go and get lemons. I knew there wasn’t a chance in hell that I was going to make the roasted chicken that called for lemons, but that was not the point. The guy at the check out asked how my day was going and I watched K, having a light saber battle with an invisible Sith warrior and-bing- I felt better. Connected, grounded, happy to be in the world.
So, When things are looking dark and you are feeling fat and/or lonely and useless, stand up, get some cash and the car keys and get out and about.
See? Here we have the same lemon, no longer alone on a cutting board but with friends. Much happier looking very pretty.
